Waste Not, Want Not

Ah, the things we’re told that are scriptural. Our daughter used to tell us all about James chapter 15. Yes, I know, James only has five chapters but it was always entertaining to hear what she would come up with. She knew that it was a joke and that I didn’t believe her but we still had fun with it. “Moooooommmmmm, you know what James chapter 15 says?” I would humor her and ask her what it said. “It says parents obey your children.” or “Parents, give your kids chocolate.” There was always something new followed by her giggle.

I’ve heard people quote the Bible as saying, “Waste not, want not.” I knew it didn’t say that verbatim so I had dismissed it as being just a fairly wise thought. But this weekend I felt like God was saying that to me. It was in a far different context than I had ever thought of it. It all started with feeling lead to take communion more regularly as a reminder of who is in control of my life and who is not. God is in control, I am not. God is in control, Satan is not.

One morning as I was taking communion, I kept remembering scenes from The Passion of The Christ, along with on overwhelming feeling of “Waste not, want not.” With each heartbreaking scene, I began to realize that every time I entertain thoughts of anxiety, doubt, negativity, condemnation, or bitterness I’m just wasting the gifts that HE paid so dearly for.

WASTE
adjective
–verb (used with object)
2. to fail or neglect to use: to waste an opportunity.

2 Corinthians 10:5

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought to obedience of Christ.

What are you wasting today? The way you finish the following sentence may be a key indicator of your area of waste. “Ow, no! What if…………………….”

Ow Me of Little Faith

Thank you all for praying and please continue to remember our family. While waiting to see how all of the resent struggles will work out for our good, I’ve felt like God wanted me to pile up some “stones” to remind me of all that He has done for us in the past. “Ow Me of Little Faith” is the first of those stones.

Joshua 4: 6 - 7

“.... Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them......”

Ow Me of Little Faith  

Matthew 18:3

And He said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

With Emily graduating soon, I find myself reminiscing about her kindergarten days. There are even days when I have to do a double take as I see those huge, brown eyes still filled with such child like faith that she looks like my little kindergartener all over again.

With the exception of a very tough time of testing, she has always seemed to have this excitement about approaching her God. She goes to Him with the same assurance and confidence that she used to have when bounding through the door as the ice cream truck made its way into our neighborhood. She was so confident that she didn't just come seeking one dollar for herself.  She often brought a friend, or two or three, and asked for dollars for the ice cream truck.

I remember when “ow me of little faith” was worried that she would be disappointed when God didn’t let her take the day off from school. She kept asking if we could skip school and work for the day. Normally, she loved to go to school but she really had her heart set on staying home that day.

Just like every other morning, we prayed in the car on the way to school. I reached back to hold her hand and prayed over our day. Normally, she would end her prayer with, "Mommy, you didn't close your eyes." and then giggle at the thought of me driving and closing my eyes.  This time though she prayed, “And God pleeeeeaaaassssssssse let me go back home today.” As we pulled into the parking lot, I tried to explain to her that I had a lot of work to do and apologized for not being able to take her back home.

I’m sure God must have been amused with me as I drove to work praying that she wouldn’t be too disappointed when He didn’t answer her prayer the way she wanted. I had barely made it into work when I received the school’s call saying, “We’re sorry but the power has gone out and it is too cold for the children to stay. You need to come back and take Emily home.”

That child giggled all the way home. That was the day that “ow me of little faith” realized my child could go over my head straight to God anytime she wanted. But it also served as a challenge to me to approach God with the same excitement and confidence - not a confidence that He will give me what I want but a confidence that He loves me and wants me to share all of my concerns and desires with Him.

I’ve had lots of little nagging concerns in the back of my mind lately. Reminiscing about Emily’s prayers have made me realize that I really need to bring all of those little nagging thoughts to Him. I’m still working on creating a habit of bringing everything to Him; but I must say that as relieved as I was to give it all to Him last night, I just can’t imagine that this will be a difficult habit to dive into.

Now What? Worship!!

Whew, rough rough week but thankful I came back across this lesson God taught me at the beginning of our son's health struggles.  I hope it will enourage anyone else that has had a rough week.  And please keep our little guy, Ryan, in your prayers as he struggles with seizures this week.  ....next week I hope to write about how God used all of the tough stuff this week for our good.....as He often does.

Now What?  Worship!!!!

What can you do after a doctor gives your child a diagnosis that seems to drain every ounce of energy out of your body? There’s a sense of urgency that you have to do something, and fast. But you don’t understand half of what they are saying let alone even begin to know what to do about it? Job went through something much worse than a health issue with a child; he actually lost all of his children. I had to see what a godly parent would do in the face of such grief.

Job 1:20

At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground and worshipped.

Of course! He worshipped. Although worship wasn’t the first thing on my mind, it should have been. I’ve watched children worship and witnessed the power of His presence. I’ll never forget bringing the neighborhood children into our house for Kidz Blast, a Bible club. We talked about how lifting our hands during worship was like giving God a hug and how we close our eyes so we won’t be distracted. There were about eight children and at the end of our worship song their eyes were as wide as saucers. I quietly asked, “Do you feel that?” No one spoke; they all just nodded their heads in wide-eyed agreement.

I’ve also watched children, labeled as ADHD, stand quietly with all of their attention on Him, worshipping. I don’t know whether they all truly have attention deficits, but I do know that there are no deficits as they stand in His presence and worship. Many times we adults also seem to have a deficit in our attentiveness to Him, especially during a crisis, which can only be corrected in worship.

We tell the kids every Sunday that praise is about thanking God for all that He has done for us and worship is about thanking Him for who He is. It makes sense that the first thing we should do when facing fear, grief, doubt, anger, and hopelessness is to remember Who He is. Only in worship can we redirect our attention to the One that can give us peace and strength.

Isaiah 40:31

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Yet......

Yet.....

Such a pretty word!  Three little letters that can completely discount any negatives faced throughout the day, week, or even years.   There was darkness for three days; yet the Israelites had light in the places they lived (Exodus 10:23). The Israelites wondered around in the wilderness for 40 years; yet their clothes never wore out, nor did the sandals on their feet (Deuteronomy 29:5). 

My job was eliminated yet God provided a better job.  We couldn’t afford to take Ryan for hyperbaric oxygen treatments; yet friends raised all the funds we needed to take him in June.  Insurance placed limits on Ryan’s therapy that reduced his therapy to far less than he needed yet God gave us favor and the additional visits were approved. 

Matthew 28:8

So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell His disciples.

Lamentations 3:21-22

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:  Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.

Habakkuk 3: 18

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

On the flip side there is the word wait, which isn’t nearly as pretty. Sometimes the impact of yet is preceded by wait.

Psalm 27:14

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait on the Lord.

Psalm 33:20

We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield.

No matter how painful, no matter how overwhelming, no matter how scary - your situation can turn around with one beautiful yet.

…….we wait in hope for the Lord and HisYet that is to come; He is our help, our shield and our Yet.

Easter Just Shouts of God's Love For Us

A little more than 7 years ago, I sat in a movie theatre with my husband watching “The Passion of The Christ.” As I was leaving the theatre with an overwhelming heaviness, all I could think about was, “God, the Cross was more than we deserved. Why the horrific beating to pay for our healing? I would have just made us wait until eternity for healing.” I think that God wanted that part to stand out to me as an encouragement for the coming years.

John 16:33

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

He knew that in less than a month our unborn child would suffer a stroke. He knew that his stroke would lead to seizures, visual impairment, Cerebral Palsy, and developmental delays. I think He was saying, “Take heart! Here’s a gift of hope to pull you through this difficult time. I have overcome the world, cerebral palsy, visual impairments, and seizures. Here is a gift of peace; hold onto it.”

Some would say, “Why did He allow His own Son suffer? Why didn’t He prevent Ryan’s stroke?” Some even focus on the wrath of God over the love of God. I have questioned God at times but it seems we should question ourselves rather than God.

I’m not a great theologian but when Jesus cries out, “Father, why have you forsaken me?” I wonder if God the Father was looking away in an effort to contain the wrath of a Father whose heart was breaking for His Son – a Son who was perfect in every way.

If God, at His greatest moment of pain, was able to allow His love to control His wrath then isn’t His love far greater than His wrath? If God could wait for His Son to pay the full price for our son, then shouldn’t I be able to thankfully and patiently wait for this gift to be displayed in his life.

If God was willing to suffer more than we can even comprehend to give us more than we could ever deserve, who are we to question Him? And yet – He graciously takes our questions and uses them to lovingly teach us.

Perception Deception

One of the ways I know God is speaking to me is that He keeps bringing the same question or word to my mind until I sit down and follow His lead. This week the word is “perceive.” It all started when Emily and I were laughing about my van and its many noises. I was telling her that the squeaks must scare people because now people seem to scurry across the street much quicker these days when they are in front of me. She said, “Mom! It’s not the squeaking! It’s the sound of the engine revving like you are going to run over them!”


I’m the only one who is still willing to drive the van so I’m only used to the interior noises. Apparently, it is idling high and sounds like I’m on the verge of road rage to pedestrians. I began to think about other misperceptions of the Howell family.

Once when Wes was in the Army, we were being transferred from Ft. Bragg to Ft. Lewis. We went to Las Vegas on the way. With all of the lights and things to see, Wes incorrectly perceived the slope in the white sidewalk to be an entrance into The Mirage. Much to the dismay of the Asian sightseers with their brown sandals, white socks, and expensive cameras, he had no other option but to turn left onto the sidewalk. When I saw their faces and heard the string of foreign obscenities, I dove to the floor to spare my dignity.

To fall in line with his day of incorrect perceptions he belted out, “What are you doing in the floor?!? Get up here! I look stupid up here alone!” How someone sitting in the passenger seat hysterically laughing at him could somehow make him look intelligent as he drove through the Asians is beyond me. I correctly perceived that he could look stupid alone or we could look stupid together. Either way, a personal sacrifice of my own dignity would not alter his perceived intelligence in any way, shape, or form.

With all of the fallacies of our understanding of even the simple things, there is no wonder God felt the need to give us Proverbs 3:5:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.

Even though He often reminds me of Proverbs 3:5, I still find myself fretting over the what-ifs or trying to imagine a plan that works all of our circumstances out for our good. Thankfully, God is helping me to grow stronger at resisting the thoughts that go against His Word.

In light of our family’s perception track record, the thought of depending on our own understanding makes our driving issues look intelligent.  We’ve actually made God’s Proverbs 3:5 case for Him. How can such limited minds, however self-imposed some limitations may be, correctly perceive the detailed plans of such a limitless God?

My Provision Will Never Run Out??

So many things in 1 Kings 17 and 18 seem to be jumping off the page at me lately.  Today it is the widow at Zarepath (1 Kings 17:7-16).  I can't help but wonder if she doubted the Word of God that came from Elijah.  Can you imagine what people this day and age would say?  Really? This jar of flour and jug of oil is going to last me until it rains again. Please!

She knew how much was in there.  She had already decided that there was only enough to make one last loaf of bread and that they were then destined to die of starvation.  I wonder if it was said with the over dramatization of Scarlet O'Hara, like I've often done. 

As a reformed (or nearly reformed) control freak, I've looked at our checking account and wondered how in the world things would work out.  As I drive a van with  more warning lights than a 747 (ok - slight exaggeration Ms. O'Hara), I sometimes wonder if it will really last until He provides another.

With each new expense or new van noise I think, "It must be about to rain soon."  But regardless, the provision in the flour jar and oil jug are just as impressive as the coming rain.

I love you Jehovah Jireh, my Provider...even when you have me working on a need to know basis.