Sunday, December 5, 2010
There is one worship song that has been extremely difficult to sing since Ryan’s stroke, until recently that is. It is the line about how “every knee shall bow, every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.” It just seemed to be a reminder of how cerebral palsy had robbed Ryan of that ability. I was so wrong.
After all, God uses what we do physically to remind us of what we should be doing spiritually. Early on, even our Pastor had tried to help me see that a physical inability to bow and worship God was far better than a spiritual inability to bow and worship. At the time though, thoughts of the diagnosis and our future were too overwhelming to really hear what he was saying. One day this past July, the picture became clear and I finally understood what he had been trying to show me.
We were at Miracle Mountain for hyperbarics and had just finished a long day of two hyperbaric treatments and two sessions of sound therapy. As we started the thirty minute trip into town, we were listening to “How Great Is Our God.” Thinking that Ryan had gone to sleep, I was singing along until his loud squeal startled me. I looked back and the face in this picture is what I saw. A child with his heart completely bowed and a tongue that was confessing how much he loved his Great God.
Though I hadn’t seen it earlier, Ryan had been confessing far longer than I realized. At church during praise and worship, he would squeal and I would try to quiet him. But either Mr. Freddie or Ms. Jean would correct me saying, “You leave him alone! He is trying to praise his God.” Mr. Freddie even told me one time, “If someone has a problem with it you tell them to come see me!” Ms. Jean told Ryan, “Ryan, I’m going to have to take your Mom out if she doesn’t leave you alone.”
Now I have no doubt that his heart is bowed and confesses Jesus Christ as Lord. I no longer think about physical disabilities when I hear that song but spiritual disabilities. I can’t help but wonder what our world would be like if everyone had the spiritual ability to bow and worship the way Ryan so loves to do.