El Roi - The God Who
Sees Me
I've often heard it said that special needs moms begin to
feel invisible. In many cases, travel
becomes more difficult so, as we become more secluded, it can truly feel like
we are invisible. That is something I've
regularly prayed about. Lately though,
instead of pouring my heart out to say how invisible I feel, it has been an overwhelming
sense of gratitude to the One who sees me, El Roi - the God who sees me.
It started in May when I attended a Women of Joy Conference. During those wonderful services, God began to
bring people across my path to show me that He had seen me. As I sat during one of the services, the
speaker taught on the woman with the issue of blood and how many labels she
must have had. She would have been rejected
by everyone - her family, friends, husband.
Now that is isolated. But then
she touched the hem of Jesus' garment and heard Him call her daughter.
Mark 5:34
He said to her,
"Daughter, your faith has healed you.
Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."
Daughter! The only
one that had the authority to name her called her daughter! As the speaker shared those words, I thought,
"Ow, no. Ow, no, no, no." Sigh
- the ugly cry. The speaker asked us to
hold hands across the convention center and pray for those to each side. I don't know who the person was that was
beside me but before she left she stopped to speak briefly and then I saw her
again when we were across from each other at a book kiosk. She smiled a smile that told me she was
praying for me. I knew instantly that
God was saying, "I am the God who sees you."
Later that day, we went to the grocery store. A sweet little grandpa was walking past as I
was getting Ryan's chair out and said, "Good job Momma! Thank you for what you are doing." He was quite happy about heading home with
his frozen pizza to watch sports in his favorite chair. Again, "I am the God who sees you."
As we were coming out of the grocery store, Wes had loaded
up the groceries and I had loaded Ryan.
I was walking around to put the wheelchair in and another sweet little
grandpa came walking up to me. He had
that, "I'm about to hug you" look on his face and so he did. He said, "Thank you for being such a
good caregiver! It is just wonderful to
see. Thank you!" Again, "I am
the God who sees you."
It has been about a month since I met the two grandpas and
I've come to realize that the God who sees me must realize what a lonely,
awkward time it can be to go to the grocery store. He most often sends the reminders of how He
sees me during the trips to the store. This
time, as I stood in line, a retired New York police officer came up to speak to
Ryan and tell him how sharp his shirt was.
He then looked at me and said, "You are doing a great thing and the
Big G always sees you and what you are doing, always. He will reward you." He even looked back as he walked away, smiled
and said it again, "The Big G - He sees you!"
Genesis 16:13
She (Hagar) gave this
name to the Lord who spoke to her: "You are the God who sees me," for
she said, "I have now seen the One who sees me."
For all of my fellow Moms, ask God to show you that He sees
you. He won't disappoint. Give it a try and let me know.
What can you do to help a special needs parent feel less
lonely? When you see them find something to compliment their child on. It really doesn't matter what it is - their shirt,
their smile, their hair, or maybe the cool wheels that light up on the
wheelchair - I miss those lights. They
were great conversation starters with children as they pointed to the wheels. You may be the voice that sends them home with
a better awareness of the God who sees them.
