Sunday, November 14, 2010

Ryan's Birthday Through Emily's Eyes....grab a tissue!!

My beautiful Emily with her prized vintage find.  Emily has been busy writing essays for college and scholarship applications.  I am more and more amazed with each new essay.  I'm working on her about sharing some of the others but she agreed to let me share this one.  For her college English course, she has a creative writing assignment where they were challenged to be very descriptive.  She chose to tell about Ryan's birthday from her perspective as a 10 year old.  Sometimes I forget just how young she was.

Because Ryan's heartrate would come to a complete stop with each contraction, I was rushed into an emergency surgery.  Unfortunately, Emily was left with the hospital staff until Wes could arrive.  Here is what she experienced.

I thought this was supposed to be a fun day. I thought the excitment alone from this moment was supposed to start a chain reaction ending in fuzzy home videos, tears of joy, and a sloppy wet kisses from my grandparents.

I sit alone in this desolate waiting room over powered by the smell of sterilized needles and lit up with flickering exit signs that seem to be screaming at me to take the hint, “exit!” I wipe my sweaty palms across the rough texture of my jeans and try to make sense of the 10,000 thoughts bouncing around my head like a pin-ball machine. Attempting to calm myself I tap my feet to the rapid beat of the heart monitors, but unfortunately I am not successful at ignoring the Brady Bunch that is so happily interrogating me and offering me sugery red peppermints. When I make a run for it I see him, my little brother.

He seems to be slipping through the nurses’ hands and my ears are pierced by the deafening silence. He isn’t moving. He isn’t crying. His life in this world has come to a stand still after just seconds. His chest is caving in deeper and deeper with each breath, like a marathon winner trying to stabalize his heart rate after running 20 miles by breathing through a straw. I look through the finger-print stained glass at this tiny body that is supposed to be my brother. Finally, I see his chest raise and he lets out the most beautiful cry.

They have been inseparable since that day.   She is his biggest fan and he is hers, next to Mom of course.  The year is off on the picture; they were taken in 2005, almost a year and a half after he rocked our world.


  1. tear... just precious. Thanks for sharing this moment in Emily's life. Just thank God for him every time I see or hear about him. He is a miracle that each have experienced in their own way.
    Love you guys!

  2. Incredible. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this must have been on a ten year old. Our son, who is now 3, was too young at 2 to understand what was happening. But your daughter. She knew. I hope all is well with you and your family. I am amazed by your strength, courage, and faith in the face of tremendous heart ache and difficulty. You are in my thoughts and prayers.